Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Taylor McNicol-11-7-2010

  • Taylor
    For no real reason at all, one day I decided that I might need to take a pregnancy test. This wasn’t one of those terrifying moments where your afraid you might be pregnant and screw up your whole life. It also was not one of those excited moments that you’ve worked so hard to get to. I was emotionless. Mostly because I was POSITIVE there was no way I could be pregnant. I was using the pill, how could I REALLY BE PREGNANT. I’m not even sure why I really took that test, or should I say TESTS. Derek and I were home on a Sunday afternoon in the end of March and I slipped into the bathroom while he waited in the living room. All of a sudden I screamed some very loud profanities directed at Derek and all hell broke loose. We had a 6 month old baby. We weren’t married, we had just moved into our tiny apartment and life was upside down once again. That’s how Taylor is though Always full of surprises, he was the day he was discovered and he was the day it was decided he would come into this world.
    I was induced with Taylor. I regret this whole heartedly and it still remains a regret I am holding onto 6 months later. There were several friends of mine that had issues with their pregnancies with low amniotic fluid or ruptured sacs. The more I read the more terrified I got. Taylor had always been a very very active little fetus. He kicked me every chance he got and he rolled from one side to the next. There came a point where he stopped being so active. I felt stretched beyond my limits and he just wasn’t moving. I had an appointment Thursday when I was 3 weeks pregnant, I expressed my concerns to the Ob and they hooked me to the monitors to check on him. He was silent for about 15 mins and then they had me chug some juice which in turn gave him the hiccups and they counted that as the number of movements they needed. Two days later on Saturday I woke up and swung my legs off the bed with a gush of liquid from between my legs. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up and went pee, all the while contemplating if this was normal leakage or something more.(It was just normal by the way, side note but when your pregnant you have a lot more liquids in “that area” lol and if you sit down it pools until you stand up and then it comes out) Finally I made the decision that I wouldn’t stop stressing until I had it checked so I called the Dr and my mom and Mom and I took Rylan and went to the hospital for a fluid test to see if it was amniotic fluid. At the hospital I got hooked up to the monitor and they swabbed me and sent the test away. They came back what seemed like forever later (really only about 30 mins) and said that my fluid wasn’t low but in the 30-40 mins I had been there the baby hadn’t moved once and was this normal. I explained again that he used to be really active but over the last 2 weeks he had stopped and only kicked every once in awhile. This must have spiked an alarm because the nurse left the room to call the Dr. She came back and said we were inducing and my heart fell in to my stomach alarmed. I had a million questions, why? is something wrong? is the Dr. Her? Finally I insisted on and ultra sound first to double check. In the ultra sound room I was asking a million questions of the Tech who wasn’t really qualified to answer them. All she could tell me was that they need to watch for 20 mins and they needed to see 3 movements. After some convincing and some urging from momma we were able to get a few movements out of him. Back upstairs the nurse said we were still inducing and I began to cry. I asked her over and over again why what is wrong. Finally she stepped out of the room as I panicked weighing my options with my mother. My sister Becky (pregnant at the same time and attempting a VBAC) had done so much research and we had discussed it so many times and I had always thought that in no way did I want to be induced. Pitocin leads to really painful labor
    which leads to an epidural which leads to more pitocin it’s a never ending cycle until a c-section is the only option (at least thats the scenario in my head).I called her crying and told her the situation and she very strongly said that this was my choice in the end and I could say yes or I could say no. She voiced her opinion and told me that it was again my decision and she couldn’t make it for me she could only give me incite. The Dr. finally came in to see me. I’m pretty sure he was frustrated and annoyed with the emotional crying pregnant lady that wasn’t listening to his worldly advice but I was terrified and it was his job to explain the situation. He explained that they use a scale to determine when things are ok or not. He said that my baby had met the criteria by just a hair and he could send me home knowing that if something happened they would not be medically liable, however the baby was at the very bottom of the safe zone. I remember his words so well “I would rather induce you and get him out safe and healthy now than send you home and not have a living baby by Monday.” This made my mind up. He was talking about the life of my baby and though I didn’t understand I was afraid, I was 38 weeks and I knew he was full term. They admitted me and started with something called cervadil. They insert it into your cervix and it s supposed to help thin out your cervix. This was a better way in my opinion than just starting pitocin. They told me that this would come out in the morning and then they would break my water and pitocin would start. There was also a chance that this drug alone would start contractions. About 3 hours after it was inserted sure enough contractions came. They were very spaced apart and timid at first. I labored through the night while Derek slept and I got no sleep. Every time I would get comfortable the monitor would slip and they would have to come in and adjust it.Finally around 4 in the morning I gave up. I got up and began pacing my room. My contraction weren’t very strong and still far apart and I knew that last time, walking helped. By the time morning came around I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open but there was no way I was sleeping, so into the tub I went hoping for some relaxation. Derek woke up around 7 am and didn’t even know where the hell I was. The nurse came in to check on me and gave me the unfortunate news. While the cervadil had certainly thinned me out my contractions never really hit a strong point I was only at a 3 and my contractions were actually starting to slow and stop. I was too tired to even care at that point. The nurse told me that the Dr wanted to start pitocin and break my water. I fought with that saying give me a bit more time please. Around 9:30 or 10:00 am they came in and said that they needed to get things going. So I fought the pitocin and debated with my Dr. and nurse about breaking my water. Finally the nurse got firm and said I have been delivering babies for 15 years trust me to do what is right to get this baby out of you healthy and alive. Being threatened with the life of my baby again I agreed. They broke my water and then came the pain. I was dilated to a six. I at one point was screaming my head off begging for an epidural and the nurse kept trying to persuade me differently because I had said I wanted to do it naturally. Finally I went for some nubain instead and again I was stoned. The nurse left the room and everyone else cleared out as well thinking this would be awhile. Derek went to walk his dad to the waiting room and the nurse had other patients. I was alone in this room and all of a sudden things were UNBEARABLE!!!!! Derek came back through the door and I screamed I NEED TO PUSH, so his first reaction was to go get his dad, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME. The nurse came in to see what was the matter and I told her I HAD TO PUSH. She did not believe me. She said we’llShe said we’ll check you just calm down. Sure enough I was there. The team came rushing in and then the Dr. all the while telling me not to push taking his sweet time putting things together for this I WAS PUSHING ANYWAYS. 15 mins of pushing and Taylor was out screaming his head off because I dilated to fast after they broke my water and he came flying into my pelvis bruising his face. We were a pair to be seen. Him screaming and I myself crying and frustrated with how different this time had been from the last. In that moment things were hectic and that’s the way my life has been ever since. With two boys 14 months apart things don’t quiet down very often. Someone always wants something. But I wouldn’t change my family for the world. Taylor belongs right here in my arms and I’m glad that God sometimes likes to play jokes

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